Gay Lovers Murder On TV

I was sitting at my desk quite a few years ago when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying “Hello.” I politely said, “This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?”
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear “Get the right f**king number!” and the phone was slammed down.
Well, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits of Robyn’s phone number and I made that call. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the “wrong” number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I told him “You’re an asshole” and hung up.
I made a note of his phone number and kept it at my desk. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or the memory came to me, I’d call him up and say “You’re an asshole.” and hang up. It became part of my routine.
With the advent of Caller ID, I figured I’d have to give up my prank. But I called him again and said, “Hi, this is “Bob” Smith from the phone company and I was calling to see if you wanted to take advantage of our new Caller ID feature?” He yelled “No!” and hung up. So I called him right back and called him an asshole.
One day I was pulling into a parking spot and a young guy and his friends in a black Volvo cut in right in front of me. They were laughing and yelling insults. I thought better of trying to kick all their asses and started to pull off .. and noticed a “For Sale” sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, after calling the first asshole, I decided to give the second asshole a call too. I asked, “Is this the man with the black Volvo for sale?” He said, “Yes, it is.” I asked him could I get his address so I could get a closer look at the car. He said, “Yes, I live at 2341 Oak St., in Branford. The car’s parked out front.” I asked his name. “Don Hansen” was the reply. “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?” I inquired. “I’m home every day after 5” he replied.
I said, “Listen Don, can I tell you something?”
He said, “Yes?”
I said, “Don, you’re an asshole.” and hung up.
I came up with an idea. Several days later, when I was bored, I called asshole #1.
He said, “Hello.”
I said, “You’re still an asshole,” but I didn’t hang up.
He screamed, “Quit calling me.”
I asked, “How you going to make me stop?”
He said, “Who the hell are you?”
I said, “My name is Don Hansen, asshole.”
He said, “Don, I don’t suppose you would tell me where I can find you?”
I said, “I live at 2341 Oak St., in Branford, asshole and I’m at home right now. Even being an asshole, you should be able to find it. There’s a black Volvo parked out front.”
When he started yelling at me, I hung up.
I called asshole #2 and he answered. I said, “Hello asshole.”
He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are, I’m going to whip your ass.”
I said, “Gonna give you that chance, Don. I’m headed to your house right now.”
I waited 5 minutes and called the police and told them that I lived at 2341 Oak St. in Branford and that when I got home I was going to murder my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 6 News and asked them had they heard about the jealous lover murder over in Branford on Oak St.
Then I got a beer out of the fridge and watched two assholes beating the shit out of each other on the evening news until the cops got there and put ‘em both in cuffs.